Curse

Luna Thirteen · Jul 21, 2005, 05:38 PM // 17:38

Greetings. Today we made a break-through discovery on a matter that deeply effects the entire Guild Wars community. While henchman are 100% willing to join any given party the second they are invited into it, they do sometimes, out of boredom perhaps, form parties with eachother and tackle some of the harder portions of the game on their own. Here is a chat log discovered by someone:
(Picking up from when the party reaches The Black Curtain outside of the Temple of the Ages)

Alesia:damn Anet, where's the update already?
Orion: ...OK I'M DEAD NOW...ALESIA, FREAKING PHANTASM KILLED ME...WHY DON'T YOU HEAL INSTEAD OF TALKING ALL DAY?!
Alesia: omfg...it's your own fault for trying to tank...and Thom, thanks for aggroing half the screen by the way...
Thom: STEFAN SAID TO CHARGE!!!
Stefan: No...I used the skill charge...because we were running and not fighting...but appearently that stratedgy is too complicated for your bite-sized, pebble-like, pathetic substitute for a brain.
Thom: STFU NOOB! WHY RUN, ARE YOU SCARED?! WE COULD TAKE THEM!!
Reyna: Yeah, maybe if you would have let me pull a few at a time. When I say I'm going to 'pull' something, that doesn't mean for every one of you to follow me like a bunch a retards.
Orion: Can it Reyna...I told you guys we should have brough Claude instead of her.
Dunham: Guys, guys, come on let's stop fighting and find that zone to TOtA!
Stefan: Ummmm...Dunham?
Dunham: yeah?
Stefan: Who the **** are you?
Renya: Yeah, when did you get in the party? I've never seen you before?
Dunham: What? I've been here the whole time...
Alesia: No, I'd remember...I've never heard of you.
Dunham: What?! Are you guys messing with me? We've been together fighting mobs for hours now...
Orion: You fight?
Dunham: LOL...yes...you know when their bar turns purple? That's me! *Looks all proud*
Thom: OH, I THOUGHT THEY TURNED PURPLE BECAUSE THEY WERE PISSED!!!
Orion: You must do like NO damage Durham!
Reyna: Ooohhh...sorry Orion...not all of us can dish out a firestorm on an already dead mob like you...prick
Orion: STFU Reyna
Stefan: Hey, I found the zone -_-

***Scene 2- the group picks up Claude and Lina and trys their luck in Underworld***

Alesia: No ghost!
Reyna: I'm going to tame a spider!
Lina: Thanks for paying Alesia!
Alesia: n/p...someone has to accomidate for Thom's broke ass LOL
Lina: LOL
Reyna: LMAO
Claude: lmfao, brb.
Thom: SHUT UP, I'D HAVE MONEY IF ANET WOULD STOP NERFING MERGOYLES!
Dunham: ok, let's set traps...
Stefan: OMFG...who took quest?!
Orion: DAMMIT! What did we say like 5 times?!
Lina: I didn't talk to it, who did?
Alesia: Effing noobs...I told you not to talk to ghost...you wasting my gold.
Thom: I'm attacking Bladed Attaxe!
Reyna: NO!
Lina: you idiot!
Alesia: Claude is still AFK!
Thom: HEAL DAMN IT!
Stefan: Geez, Thom, what is your armor made out of paper?
Thom: NO, BEAR PELTS NOOB! I'M ALMOST FULL INFUSED!!!
Dunham: I'm casting Empathy on Bladed Attaxe!
Dunham: See? I attack too!
Orion: Wow...we don't care...
Lina: My energy is 0 of 40!
Bladed Attaxe drops 4 piles of glittering dust, which the party reserves for Reyna Sandor.
Reyna: **** drops suck today.
Thom: I have a 60% death penalty!
Lina: Sorry guys, I have to go!
Lina has left the game.
Thom: WHAT A NOOB!
Alesia has left the game.
Orion has left the game.
Reyna has left the game.
Stefan has left the game.
Thom has left the game.
Claude: Ok I'm back...wtf?!
Dunham: Took you long enough, lol!
Claude: Dunham? I have no clue who you are...
Dunham has left the game.
Claude: I hate you all...oh well
Claude: I'm using animate pleasure zombie!
Claude: ^_^

Sublime · Jul 21, 2005, 05:44 PM // 17:44

u just made my day ^^

Milamber · Jul 21, 2005, 05:45 PM // 17:45

Funniest post I read in a long time. Great stuff!

Night Daftshadow · Jul 21, 2005, 05:52 PM // 17:52

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Lasareth · Jul 21, 2005, 08:43 PM // 20:43

o_o pleasure zombies ? Where do you get this spell? >_>

katalyst · Jul 22, 2005, 12:32 AM // 00:32

Rofflecakes

d4nowar · Jul 22, 2005, 01:29 AM // 01:29

Yeah, Thom can be a jerk sometimes.

Sanity · Jul 22, 2005, 03:12 AM // 03:12

Hah! That's hilarious! ^^

EchoSex · Jul 22, 2005, 03:13 AM // 03:13

Heh, good laugh. Should be a comic.

Divine Elemental · Jul 22, 2005, 03:49 AM // 03:49

LOL
GHAGA
Just Made Me Able To SLeep TIGHT!
hahahahaha LMAO
ROFLCOPTER

Haloknight9 · Jul 22, 2005, 04:37 AM // 04:37

Ever wonder why alesia moves around so much, even agroing at times? Shes pickin up the loot!

Ninja monk!

Lampshade · Jul 22, 2005, 06:50 AM // 06:50

lol I demand more!

MCS · Jul 22, 2005, 06:57 AM // 06:57

What no protect henchie?

The greatest and by far the smartest hench in the game?

d4nowar · Jul 22, 2005, 07:00 AM // 07:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCS

What no protect henchie?

The greatest and by far the smartest hench in the game?

See part two - with lina.

MCS · Jul 22, 2005, 07:17 AM // 07:17

ooo I didn't see that.

Divine Elemental · Jul 22, 2005, 07:53 AM // 07:53

OOO Coo
Thers Gonna be A 2nd Part

Makkert · Jul 22, 2005, 11:41 AM // 11:41

give us more!

great read

Weezer_Blue · Jul 22, 2005, 01:52 PM // 13:52

Lina is the only henchman I like. She not only compensates for both Alesia's incompetance as a healer AND her aggroing every mob in sight, she doesn't do anything stupid. She stays where she should - a little behind the group, rather than, like Alesia, a hundred yards ahead of you trying to draw aggro from every monster.

Omega Complex · Jul 22, 2005, 02:08 PM // 14:08

Thats awesome, MORE I say...MORE!

BrandonIT · Jul 22, 2005, 05:00 PM // 17:00

Well done, made my day.